I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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