I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
