His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
