This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize