i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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