Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
