she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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