I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Is it because I queefed?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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