I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
