I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
