I didn't shave. On purpose
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
