this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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