He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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