yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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