All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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