I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
