Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
