I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
