this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
