why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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