when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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