You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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