Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
