would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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