Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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