we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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