I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
