If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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