He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
