ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize