I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
