I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
