If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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