apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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