took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
