he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
