I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
