i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
