Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
