I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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