so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Vodka?
Forever.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
