i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
