I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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