piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
