dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
