I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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