I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
