i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
