I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
its not stalking. its research.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
