It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
