let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
