And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
