moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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