i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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