Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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