it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I believe in your delicious
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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