I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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