Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
