dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
