I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
