I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
