I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
