You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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