I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
