Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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