you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
