We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
