She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize