I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
