he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
