I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
