he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
