At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
