if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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