Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
